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The Goldtokens Blog

Parenting after a loss

Katrab Resident Posted by in Personal - June 22, 2013, 8:22 pm


Yesterday evening a friend of my son drowned while fishing at a local spillway. He was 13. As I lay in bed trying to sleep early Saturday morning I wonder how will this sad tragedy affect how I raise my son from now on. Will I become overprotective and not let him do anything out of fear? Will I let him do just about anything he want because you only live once and who knows when his time is up? I choose to continue to raise my son exactly as I have been with the same rules and privileges as before, though in my heart some things may be a little harder, a little more fearful at times.  For the immediate future my goal is to help my son process this loss.

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Community Comments

AmyNevilly Resident
June 24, 2013, 4:30 pm -

Awww that sounds horrible crying

I think you shouldn't try to over-protect him. He needs some freedom when hes young so that he develops into a free-minded adult. A loss like that will probably make him more careful, so you actually have less to worry about smiley

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Katrab Resident
June 24, 2013, 7:21 pm -

Thank you Amy,

Yes I plan on doing what I was before Jeff died, there was nothing his parents could have done differently that would have prevented his death.

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Cristalyn Resident
June 25, 2013, 4:31 pm -

From a parent who has lost a child, I think it is natural to overprotect out of fear but I can also tell you that it's a fine line you will walk. Overprotection can have negative effects on your children as they grow into adults. As I look back I know I made mistakes after our loss, well all parents do, but I wish I had made more of an effort not to parent out of my own fears.

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dayz Short
June 28, 2013, 12:51 am -

My guess is it will be a little of both - a wavering line as it self-adjusts to your own awareness of parental responsibility. The tragedy you speak of has had a profound impact on you, as well as on your son. Keep the communication open, your heart and common sense will lead the right course. I am very sorry for both you and your son, as well as for that boys' poor family. hugs

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Katrab Resident
June 28, 2013, 12:54 am -

Thank you Daisy and my intent was to convey that yeah that would be on my mind but that we would continue to to parent him the same as always, especially as Jeff's parents couldn't have done anything to prevent his death. It was just a tragedy =( Hugs


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